Walk in My Shoes & If I Die Tomorrow
Shaun took part in the project when he was at Reading St Leonards Probation Hostel, for those taking their first steps out of prison. Here he describes his experience:
‘I was 19 when I stepped off a prison bus and they took me in through a little brown side door in a huge stone wall. Reading Jail. They sat me down on a bench and gave me some prison issue clothes. I said I’d wear my own clothes and they said you haven’t got enough. I said I want my phone call, and I called my Mum. I had no idea where she was. I said “I love you, and bring me some clothes”. They let me buy a smoking pack for £2.50, and I was in.
‘They moved me about, and 6 years later I came out of another prison, with 4 large duffel bags weighing a ton each, and a book of 300 poems. The prison officer helped me with the bags, up to the big electric prison gate, then he told me he couldn’t come any further. He said “over to you now mate. You were a shit when you came here, but I’ve got to know you. Don’t ever come back.”
‘I walked out and the sky was clear. I’ve never seen a day like that. Outside everything was brighter. It was May. There was a vibrant green on the trees. I saw my Mum and my Auntie running over and I just dropped my bags. It was all hugs and crying. And there was a dog running round, barking, running around all over the place – I’ll never forget that dog.’
Here Shaun describes the background to the poem ‘Walk in My Shoes’:
‘I got mixed up with the wrong people, thinking that they were all the world, and nothing can touch them. The friends, my so-called friends, they are no longer part of my life. At that time they were threatening me, and my family as well. I put my family in danger. It was kind of a horrifying time. They held a gun to my head, telling me there was only one way I was going to leave and that was dead. I thought about not being able to say goodbye to my family, to give my Mum a hug and a kiss and say goodbye, big time.’ |
Walk in My Shoes
Walk in my shoes and see how I feel
Try and find peace of mind when you can’t even find peace
Take a look through my eyes and see what I’ve seen
Believe me you won’t be having sweet dreams
Make friends with my friends find out who they are
Do you still wonder how I made it so far
Live how I used to and watch your own back
Stay clear of your loved ones, can you live like that?
Knowing they’re planning and arranging your end
That’s not just the enemy, that’s my so-called friends.
If I Die Tomorrow
If I die tomorrow tell me would you cry
Would you pray the Lord to take my soul before the next sunrise
Would you think or forget about me as seasons change and pass
Would you remember the sound of my voice or better still my laugh
Would you remember the times we talked and the times we shared
Would you wish for me to come back while holding a piece of your hair
If I die tomorrow I ask you if you cry
Let them be tears of happiness because my soul’s free and I’ll be flying.
Shaun D
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