Freshfields Brighton General
Interview with Jonathan Myers, 14th November 2013, at his mother's house in Portslade, East Sussex. Covering time spent at Brighton General Hospital (Freshfields), Lady Chichester (which became Aldrington House) and Mill View Hospital. With brief reference to St Francis Hospital, Haywards Health, and Whitchurch Hospital in Cardiff, 1986 to the present.
Interview by Jon PotterJon
So, I'm here with Jonathan Myers, on 14 November 2013. We are at his house in Portslade and yes, thanks very much for agreeing to share your memories with me Jonathan
Jonathan
My mum's house, sorry
Jon
Jonathan's mother's house in Portslade. To begin with, could you just give me a description of the hospitals that you have been in.
Jonathan
What a list, that sort of thing. In 1986 I was in Lady Chichester, which then became Aldrington House, which is in Hove, set in very nice grounds. And then I was in New Sussex 1992 and then in, again in 94/5 in the New Sussex and then in 97 I started off in Freshfields Ward 1 before I moved to the New Sussex. 1999 I was in Mill View and 2000 I started off in Freshfields ward 2, then I moved to Mill View, and I should have said I was on Regency ward all the time and they were mixed wards. They put me in for a week in a private hospital in London, Tooting Broadway I think, because they needed the bed, and then in 2002 I was in Mill View Regency, 2004 Mill View Regency, 2006 Mill View Regency and 2012 I was in Mill View Regency then I was briefly in Eastbourne for about three hours and then I was sectioned and I was in Mill View Pavilion ward and then Mill View Regency which this time was men only.
Jon
Okay, so Mill View Regency you've known over some years then… Let's start by talking about that ward, tell us a bit about that ward and changes that you have seen over the years.
Jonathan
Right, as I said initially it was a mixed ward. The first time I was in it 1999 at that time we allowed odd people from Pavilion, hang on no there were only two wards there to begin with, that's right, they hadn't built Meridian or Caburn, and they allowed the people from Promenade ward to come down and use our garden. So it was quite good socially and they were both mixed I remember, so… And I think, I'm not sure when, when I was in it again in 2000 I don't think they built them then, I think, I can't remember when they actually opened the other two wards there. They definitely hadn't built them in 2000, and that's why I was in Freshfields ward 2 because basically Freshfields 1 became Caburn and Meridian at Mill View. They were moved there, probably moved there by 2002.
Jon
And do you notice any changes in the treatment or the attitude towards patients over roughly that decade?
Jonathan
Well, I remember that I particularly found that when I was in Freshfields 1997 Ward 1 I particularly thought that the staff had a really good spirit, this is basically Brighton General, and they were very nice to you. You did still feel like a patient but that stood out to me, and also when I was in Freshfields ward 2 that was in 2000, I think I said the first thing, I got in there and I had a kind of reputation because I'm always high thinking I'm Jesus or God and I write poetry and stuff for patients and one of the staff nurses Mark Mellin, I think he's a matron now, he didn't even look up, oh Jonathan I've had a baby can you write me a poem. And I remember singing a Beatles song with another nurse and what struck me a about this Freshfields ward 2, going back Ward 1 was for people on section, and when I was there because I wasn't under section I used to get all the cigarettes for people there. And in ward… Yeah and also got quite amorous with some of the patients, female patients, I won't go into too much detail but in the, going back to Freshfields ward 2 that was in 2000 I remember that they had a great spirit and, but not only that you really felt that they treated you like you were just a normal person and not a patient which was quite unique I thought.
Jon
So I think people used to sometimes ask you to go and get the cigarettes
Jonathan
Yes, when I was in Ward 1, because most people there were under section except for me
Jon
And how old were you then
Jonathan
1997, I was about 35, 1988 I was 30, I think I was 35, I still had to take very strong medication the old-fashioned medication so I, haloperidol they put me on, and I paced up and down for six weeks on it, it was really awful then they put me on droperidol which was better, then later that got banned apparently. But it wasn't actually so bad. The… I know that the Freshfields Ward 2 was dormitories with curtains and I voluntarily gave this guy who couldn't sleep, I had my own room for some reason, I let him sleep there…
Jon
And you were allowed to wander out and get things
Jonathan
Yeah ward 2 was generally, I think it was for people not so much under section, I'm a bit confused as to whether it was just a different area. I think they had, yeah Ward 2 was what they did then was Ward 1 was under section Ward 2 was more voluntarily patients. The main thing about, yeah
Lady Chichester which was the first hospital I was in when I first became ill in 1986, that had like dormitories, you had no curtains or anything, however there was a great, patients did get on very well I remember there seemed to be great spirit, the staff were very friendly then. We played a lot of table tennis, snooker I remember one patient saying he had to leave and he really didn't want to go, you know
Jon
And where was Lady Chichester
Jonathan
Well it's in New Church Road, it became Aldrington House which is now, then closed, the day centre, it's by Aldrington day hospital. I think it was donated to the trust actually
Jon
And did you mentioned that you were also in St Francis
Jonathan
Yes in 1992 I started off at Mill View, no this is, in the New Sussex started off there, but I refused medication because of an occupational therapist, I made a comment about how I felt, the trouble was with the old medication it was really unpleasantly and you feel knocked out and horrible and you get symptoms of Parkinson's disease and you have to take side-effect tablets, and she said something I don't know exactly, she said oh you don't need, you don't need the medication and with that thought I decided not to take it any more so they sectioned me and put me on ward one which I liked better anyway, it had a bit more of a, you had shared rooms and a lounge so it felt more cosy, I didn't really like the New Sussex Ward 2. That was like curtain of wards and smelly patients.
So what happened there was I got out, well actually another hospital that I went into, I actually went back to Cardiff where I used to live and I went into Whitchurch Hospital which was a huge asylum, had been, still pretty big and that had loads of patients still in it, and a coffee bar and they were very nice actually the nurses in Cardiff.
Yeah so basically I decided, I did a bit of criminal damage I smashed a few windows at the dentist but it was early in the morning and there wasn't anyone in there and where I thought the National Front organiser lived and the Conservative MP. And I gave myself up to Hove police first of all, that was after I broke down the door of the New Sussex. But I told to the policeman that his psychiatrist was like the commandant of concentration camps and the nurses were like the guards and miraculously they actually let me out, even though I admitted I had done criminal damage, but I didn't get out of Brighton Police Station, and then they put me, then they decide to send me to Princess Royal in Haywards Heath. And that got, that was a huge I believe asylum but then it was just a ward for difficult patients, most people on there were on a criminal section. I remember, my main memories there were the nurses were pretty, one nurse was all right but they were pretty, fairly aggressive, I was going to say because they were frightened of us, but… my main memory was one patient used to strip off, this woman and they used to say don't look, and I said I was getting very very excited playing table tennis so I asked for an injection in my bum which is pretty unpleasant, to um, to calm me down, and the next day I didn't ask for it and they still gave me one… I didn't get on a criminal section I don't know why, but eventually I, I was drugged up to the eyeballs on clopromazine which actually didn't, though it's also like largactal they call it the chemical cosh they put patients on it in prisons I think a lot, it wasn't so bad side effects actually except you had to put sun cream on if you went outside, otherwise you got burning with it.
Jon
So, what are your memories of these places and how they looked, do you have vivid memories of these places in terms of the sort of images that come to mind, or the visual side of them. Maybe you could start with the old Freshfields in Brighton, and compare that to St Francis and to Mill View.
Jonathan
Well, Freshfields is actually Brighton General so it looked like a hospital really, Victorian yes… I mean Lady Chichester was possibly the most scenic because it's like a house, a big house really, and a nice setting and nice grounds. One of my memories of that is near the end of my stay, it was in the summer and we saw this brilliant rainbow almost, you know like a film type, so striking.
Jon
Can we do Saint Francis
Jonathan
St Francis, to be honest I can't remember
Jon
I mean that was a Victorian institution, it was huge, but I guess you were in a small part of it
Jonathan
Yes, I think it was the only bit left that I was in, that was in 1992.
Jon
So let's move on to Mill View, how did that compare?
Jonathan
Well in many ways, to begin with I thought it was really good, and you know, they split the nurses up so they didn't have quite the same team spirit that I felt, because I had been in hospital so many times I knew the nurses, I was also high which changes your probably feeling of the hospital quite a lot, as well. But we also had our own room, which we never had in the other hospitals, so that was a big improvement, and they had the women on one side and the men on the other. I remember having a lot of fun in hospital, mainly because I was high, I guess.
Jon
What were you doing?
Jonathan
I wrote poems for most of the patients and nurses, did all the activities, yeah I mean unfortunately I can't remember much else…
Jon
Did you have trips out?
Jonathan
Yes, I remember at Lady Chichester they took us swimming, I don't remember so much having any trips out later at any other hospital later on.
Jon
Not at Mill View
Jonathan
Yeah, I think we did have some trips out actually but it was mainly like a walk to the park, yeah I think there was the odd trip out.
Jon
And were you allowed out of Mill View on your own at all during the daytime
Jonathan
Yeah, I mean I was never under section except for 92 until, 2012, I was a voluntary patient so I could pretty much come and go as I pleased.
Jon
And what were the times that you had to be in by?
Jonathan
They like you to come back by, well fairly early actually, I think you had to be back by about nine, I think.
Jon
And can you describe a kind of routine day
Jonathan
Yeah, Regency Ward I would always be up early, breakfast was at 8 o'clock I think, I used to enjoy the breakfast particularly with the real butter, and then, there may not have been much to do. I know they had art groups. Actually there was gardening group, some activities, offhand now I can't think. We did creative writing, and I particularly enjoyed, we used to have a music group on Saturday morning where you chose your section of music to play…
Jon
What about lunchtime, they gave you a lunch
Jonathan
Yeah, the food wasn't bad, it was cooked at Mill View, there I particularly liked bread-and-butter pudding they did.
Jon
And then another cooked meal in the evening
Jonathan
Yes, they used to do quite stodgy puddings, I think it was fairly stodgy food. It is healthier now.
Jon
Well healthy food is very important if you are trying to get well
Jonathan
Supper was always quite early so, 5 o'clock, so you were starving later on, so we used to get takeaways I remember, often
Jon
So you'd go out in the evening
Jonathan
No they'd come in, they were used to it. You ring up, when I was in last time it was like a folder with loads and loads of people you can ring so that you can get a takeaway.
Jon
So the takeaway, I suppose the nurses will be used to them coming.
Jonathan
Unfortunately, with my illness, when I'm high I have unconditional love for myself and all mankind, so I would hand out a lot of money in hospital. This last time I was in they did their best to stop me doing it.
Jon
Is that because you had warned them about yourself or because they understood you more
Jonathan
Yeah, I think, I'm not sure whether my mum or brother told them, it must have been in my notes, I mean I didn't have, I kept my card, my debit card, mum took my credit card.
Jon
Great, great. I have been asking people about just recollections that people have of any time in any of these hospitals that made you laugh, is there anything that springs to mind?
Jonathan
Well there is one story that, I don't know if it's that funny but, well it is funny, but I was in, I was in the New Sussex in 97 actually, I'd got out. I'd told the psychiatrist, at this time I thought I was God of the galaxy, and I said that even though I was God of the galaxy I was okay, and they let me out, and at this point unfortunately I met a couple who I thought was Joseph and Mary, in fact I wrote that poem about it. Anyway, the funniest thing was, apart from giving them 2000, spending £2000 on them, we went to the DHSS, I decided to hand out money there, anyway there wasn't many, it was in Hove, there wasn't many coming out so I got a bit fed up, so I went in and handed everybody a £10 note, and then we went outside, and then the manager came out and she said to me you are not allowed to hand out money on Crown property!
What I didn't know was this couple, they were worried they weren't going to get any money out of me, they told her I was in the New Sussex and when I got back, I'm pretty sure this is what happened, which is very bizarre, they gave me an option of being sectioned or having a double injection in my bum, and so I went for the double injection. It does sound very bizarre, I wonder if I got that right. I'm pretty sure that's what happened, yeah.
Jon
Well, I will put that poem, both of those poems in with this audio, so that people can reference those if they choose. And you I think when you were in Brighton General, used to be the one who was asked to go and get the cigarettes is that right?
Jonathan
Well, basically, mainly in Ward 1, basically I had a big list of people who wanted cigarettes, sweets, and it's quite a steep hill actually, I suppose it was good exercise for me to go out, it seemed to be every day, maybe twice a day, I guess it was something to do. Everyone else was under section, no one else could go out, or for limited periods, so I volunteered. I was very amenable, very helpful because I was high.
Jon
Have you ever been in hospital when you have been low?
Jonathan
Yes, last admission that I had.
Jon
Tell us about that.
Jonathan
But also in 97 I started to get bad anxiety, and so for a period of time I was in hospital with terrible anxiety, and when I, actually this is not so funny, they put me down stairs because of that handing out the money, and then I was in a very, my bed was right by this door and the door was banging and I was lying on my bed all day with terribly bad anxiety. And then it went away again. But going back, my recent stay in hospital, I started off, I went in and I was high voluntarily, but I wasn't so high as usual but I did think, find, and it's all men now and it did spoil it a bit, but I can understand that it's safer for women, but anyway, yes so, and what happened was I felt I could see the nurses were, weren't that respectful to the patient's. We had this problem where they keep locking the office and then you had to knock and wait, they reckoned it was for security reasons, but it seemed that they weren't so approachable.
But having said that, I've seen that at Mill View particularly that the nurses would stay in the office, and the nursing support or care, I don't know what they are called now, they would tend to be out talking to people, but even then, one nurse support assistant, they were talking in the communal area, about something, and I made a comment, oh that sounds interesting or something, and she said excuse me we are having a private conversation. But I got really annoyed about it, and the nurse came out and said do you want some Valium. But I've lost my track now, I was going to say yes, I got out of hospital too soon, because my girlfriend was desperate for me to get out, to look after her, this is 2012, last year, so, eventually I got ill again, no I was still high and then I got quite angry high, and started doing this kind of death chanting thing, freaking my mother out, anyway fortunately I got an appointment with Dr Ingolstat and they, I got a place in Eastbourne. But I only lasted their three hours, because I don't know why but I decided I had to get out, and I threw my trolley, a heavy trolley at the door, broke it and I broke another door but I couldn't get out then they pushed me back to Mill View and put me in Pavilion ward, which is the, under section, for the difficult patients. And then it was bizarre because I seem to have lost March and Easter, because I don't remember it, and then when I came back I had like a beard, and I was fairly low, also the other patients, two of them were very disturbing, and I got a bit paranoid, and I was thinking am I going to get out of here, and I thought the nurses were against me even though I knew them. So it was pretty unpleasant, yeah.
And then eventually I got out of there and back to Regency, and got friendly with a few people and we would sit in one of the one lounge, with two TVs on, sometimes on different programs, so it was like our club, the three of us. He was a nice guy, but he reckoned he was owed £18 million this bloke, and he had done a load of songs for Rhianna, and he was wondering, they were very keen to get rid of me, I was getting off section and he was still under section, and me and this other guy would tell him look, if you keep going on about this you'll never get out. Tell them that you realise you are ill, and take the tablets and you'll get out of here.
Jon
And do you remember me coming to visit you?
Jonathan
Yes, no you visited me in Pavilion
Jon
Was it Pavilion?
Jonathan
Yes, because I said to you do you believe in tricksters, you visited me when I was very paranoid
Jon
You seemed less well than now certainly
Jonathan
When you visited me I was in Pavilion. 2012 February that was, and you must have visited me in April but I lost Easter and everything, I didn't you know come back to reality until then, I'm not sure exactly when, end of March may be, when I was still in Pavilion, yeah.
Jon
And at Pavilion and Regency did you spend time outside or was it mostly inside those rooms?
Jonathan
Well Pavilion they didn't, I don't think I went out, except to go, later on they would take us to the canteen, that was our trip out really.
Jon
And Regency
Jonathan
Regency I started to get leave, I started to come to my mum's mainly, to start with. Mainly going out on my own, not going out with any groups. There is a lot less going on now than there used to be, they had a lot more activities.
Jon
And how did, described the last stages and getting out of these stays
Jonathan
Well now, they are a bit better because they used to just discharge you and often I would get very bad anxiety, I'd never be able to get back into hospital there, but this time they have what they call the home treatment team. So what they did was they started off giving you one night of leave, then maybe it was two nights, and then they decided that they would, I think they, they gave me a week or two weeks, and then the, no I can't remember what they did exactly now, they didn't discharge me properly, but I was out and then the home treatment, and I was still under section, and then the home treatment team visited me every other day and they needed to see me take my tablets which was a bit of a pain because it meant they come about, from about 8:30 or something, and my tablets were quite … So it means you've got virtually to go to bed at 10 which was a bit of a pain really but, so they did that for a few weeks, then I got discharged.
Jon
I'm going to wrap it up now because we are kind of getting towards the end of our time but is there anything, any written work or other documentation, apart from the poems which I will put in, is there anything else which you think might be good to go alongside this interview, which you might like to have in?
Jonathan
At Mill View there is a big abstract type picture there, by the dining room, and my bit, I did a bit of it, and it is in the corner, it looks a bit like fishes in the right-hand corner.
Jon
So you would like to reference that, that's fine, there is a little bit of description in the 'Warning: May contain Nuts' book, with those two poems, and maybe the Chickens poem as well.
Jonathan
Okay. Well I probably will think of other things
Jon
Well thanks so much for contributing, it's really important information, and I hope it will be of use to people in future, many thanks.
Jonathan
Okay thank you.
Creative Writing for the Stories of Transformation project
Jonathan MyersChickens
Chickens are the best
They will cluck for you
And lay eggs too
They like walking
They like talking
They are interested in what you say
They work for very little pay
Chicken Feed
Is all they need
And a small place to stay
Not much really
And they will love you dearly
So go on and get some
Chickens today
