Langley Green, Crawley
Oral History Interview, 12 October 2013, with Angela Dillon, at 'Together in Mind' group, Park Barn, Horsham, covering time spent in Langley Green Psychiatric Hospital, Crawley, Sussex, 2009 to present.
Interview and recording by Jon PotterJon
I'm with Angie, on 12 October, andwe're at the Together in Mind group. Thanks very much Angie, for agreeing to share your memories with us. I wonder if you could, just to begin with, tell us which hospital you were at, and how long you were there?
Angie
Langley Green, I was there for a year.
Jon
And how did you come to be at Langley Green?
Angie
I got taken out of my flat, thrown out of my flat and kicked out, and I had nowhere to go so they put me in a psychiatric ward.
Jon
And how did you, why were you thrown out of your flat?
Angie
Noise, the neighbours all complained against us.
Jon
And you think, tell us a bit about that. Were you annoyed about that?
Angie
Yeah.
Jon
Thank you. And how was your treatment at Langley Green?
Angie
Very fair. You made complaints, but everything always got sorted out, nipped in the bud.
Jon
Good, okay. And how do you think that your medication affected your experience there?
Angie
It saved my life, basically, the change in what we were on it saved my life.
Jon
Did they change your medication when you got to Langley Green?
Angie
Yeah, I got put on Clozaril
Jon
And what were you on before were you on anything before?
Angie
Yeah I was on, um, olanzapine.
Jon
Okay, great. And how long did you stay?
Angie
A year.
Jon
And then after the year what happened?
Angie
I went to Worthing, to rehab, where I stayed for a year.
Jon
So what was the place in Worthing called
Angie
It was a house, a house in Worthing, just called rehab
Jon
And what year was that how long ago was that?
Angie
That was two years ago, three years ago now, yeah.
Jon
Good, so tell us a little bit about Langley Green, what were the buildings like, how did it look?
Angie
Cheerful, it was a very smart building, very smart.
Jon
Was it a building you could go in and out of?
Angie
Yeah, they had a gym, and a coffee shop and there was, you could walk down to the shop and back, they let me out in the mornings, they weren't supposed to do it because I was sectioned, but they used to let me out so I could go and buy some cigarettes, which were really important to me at the time. So I used to run down to the shop in three minutes, get some fags, run back, buy some coke, just that little bit of freedom, that little bit of trust. And they worked it up, and in the end I could look after myself. I've lived in my flat for two years, haven't had any problems, been all right.
Jon
Great. And what was causing, before you went in, what was causing the noise, was it voices, what was it?
Angie
Um, it was a big domestic.
Jon
So was it just one occasion.
Angie
Yeah.
Jon
But that's quite harsh isn't it, to take you out of your flat, for just one occasion
Angie
It was awful
Jon
Right. And do you think the experience in Langley Green changed you?
Angie
Yeah, a bit tougher, actually not tougher, softer.
Jon
And did you feel the atmosphere was different, what was it, do you think that changed you?
Angie
Seeing the people suffer, you know I don't like seeing a mate suffer, friends, you know what I mean
Jon
Yes, yeah, and do you think that it gave you a chance to be comfortable and rest
Angie
Yeah, I was very lucky, I said to them I wouldn't go back there, ever again but I thanked them very much, you know. And the food was brilliant, the food was really nice. And I was always waiting for my aunty Kath to visit me, I used to go on and on about my aunty Kath because my cousin had a lesion and died when she was 16, so, I was coming to terms with that as well, loads of things kept popping up. Like a little box, things popping up, you know, oh God, ah, oh my God, innit.
Jon
And you were there for a year, which is quite a long time to be there
Angie
Yeah
Jon
Why did it take so long for you to get out to rehab?
Angie
Because I was a total mess, basically, yeah. I don't think I'd ever go back to it not even to look, it's just part of my life gone.
Jon
Was there any emotional or spiritual support when you were there?
Angie
There was a vicar who used to come in
Jon
Was that useful
Angie
Yeah, I used to get out with him, I used to go Oy Vic, Oy Vic
Jon
And was there any therapy?
Angie
Yeah, occasionally, we used to have groups and that most of the time there wasn't anything, we were all wandering around going mmm… When are we going out…
Jon
So can you tell me about a typical day
Angie
I'd get up about eight, I'd have a shower the night before so I was fine, I'd go down the shop, come back, and Sam would say to me if you don't come back on time you're not allowed out again and I would think oh my god if there's a queue in the shop or anything I'm not going to make it he's going to go mental, and then John said he would visit in the afternoons, so he used to pick me up in the afternoons around three, and we used to go out till about six or seven, used to go and get a Macdonald's. Used to have a chat and that. He was in a place in Worthing, in a different place. Anyway, and John had his bike accident so I was in the hospital when that happened so that was why it took me so long to get myself together. Do you know where I'm at now, yeah…
Jon
I do, yeah.
Angie
They were very supportive, very supportive
Jon
So that's one reason you stayed in there longer, as well
Angie
Yeah. I… A very tight bond with them, I found it quite hard not to go back I see Sam at church, Sam who works there, I see him at church on a Sunday.
Jon
What were the living quarters like
Angie
Nice, really smart, they had a shower, a shower room in your room, in your bed, chest of drawers, wardrobe, make it, when I was in Worthing I made the room so nice and stuff, I used to work in the charity shop, Stokes
Jon
But at Langley Green was it all individual rooms, did you all have your own rooms
Angie
Yeah. That was the nice thing about it, the men were in the men's and the ladies were in the ladies, yeah.
Jon
And do you remember any particular smells or sensations from that time?
Angie
Mint, I used to get mints
Jon
Did you? You used to go and buy those from the shop
Angie
In rehab yeah, to stop smoking
Jon
And did you succeed in stopping smoking?
Angie
Yeah, three years
Jon
Good, um, and do you remember any particular people from that time
Angie
John, really
Jon
So he would come and take you out in the afternoons, and then he had the accident. And what happened after that?
Angie
Well I blamed myself for ages, kept blaming myself, and blaming myself, until I thought I can't do this any more, I can't keep sitting around blaming myself for things, you know
Jon
And how could you have been to blame?
Angie
I could have been on his mind when he had the accident, you know what I mean, he could have been thinking about me. I'd forgotten about that.
Jon
But you are not to blame, it's just something you are thinking because you care a lot about him, but you are not to blame.
Angie
I hope not.
Jon
I know you're not. You can't be to blame, because his life, when he was riding his motorbike was completely separate from you.
Angie
Yeah. Right.
Jon
And accidents happen. At any time.
Angie
Thanks for that.
Jon
So how do you remember leaving?
Angie
With my mum.
Jon
And did you discuss it with the staff a lot, getting ready to leave
Angie
Yeah and they said to me if you stick it out Angie, you'll get a flat which I did, and I did.
Jon
Good. And is there anything else we haven't talked about that you would like to mention?
Angie
No that's it I think
Jon
Great. Many thanks for sharing your memories, that's really valuable, and wish you all the best
Angie
Shake hands.
