Introduction Transformations Oral History

Langley Green, Crawley


Oral History Interview, 12 October 2013, with Angela Dillon, at 'Together in Mind' group, Park Barn, Horsham, covering time spent in Langley Green Psychiatric Hospital, Crawley, Sussex, 2009 to present.

Interview and recording by Jon Potter

Jon

I'm with Angie, on 12 October, andwe're at the Together in Mind group. Thanks very much Angie, for agreeing to share your memories with us. I wonder if you could, just to begin with, tell us which hospital you were at, and how long you were there?

Angie

Langley Green, I was there for a year.

Jon

And how did you come to be at Langley Green?

Angie

I got taken out of my flat, thrown out of my flat and kicked out, and I had nowhere to go so they put me in a psychiatric ward.

Jon

And how did you, why were you thrown out of your flat?

Angie

Noise, the neighbours all complained against us.

Jon

And you think, tell us a bit about that. Were you annoyed about that?

Angie

Yeah.

Jon

Thank you. And how was your treatment at Langley Green?

Angie

Very fair. You made complaints, but everything always got sorted out, nipped in the bud.

Jon

Good, okay. And how do you think that your medication affected your experience there?

Angie

It saved my life, basically, the change in what we were on it saved my life.

Jon

Did they change your medication when you got to Langley Green?

Angie

Yeah, I got put on Clozaril

Jon

And what were you on before were you on anything before?

Angie

Yeah I was on, um, olanzapine.

Jon

Okay, great. And how long did you stay?

Angie

A year.

Jon

And then after the year what happened?

Angie

I went to Worthing, to rehab, where I stayed for a year.

Jon

So what was the place in Worthing called

Angie

It was a house, a house in Worthing, just called rehab

Jon

And what year was that how long ago was that?

Angie

That was two years ago, three years ago now, yeah.

Jon

Good, so tell us a little bit about Langley Green, what were the buildings like, how did it look?

Angie

Cheerful, it was a very smart building, very smart.

Jon

Was it a building you could go in and out of?

Angie

Yeah, they had a gym, and a coffee shop and there was, you could walk down to the shop and back, they let me out in the mornings, they weren't supposed to do it because I was sectioned, but they used to let me out so I could go and buy some cigarettes, which were really important to me at the time. So I used to run down to the shop in three minutes, get some fags, run back, buy some coke, just that little bit of freedom, that little bit of trust. And they worked it up, and in the end I could look after myself. I've lived in my flat for two years, haven't had any problems, been all right.

Jon

Great. And what was causing, before you went in, what was causing the noise, was it voices, what was it?

Angie

Um, it was a big domestic.

Jon

So was it just one occasion.

Angie

Yeah.

Jon

But that's quite harsh isn't it, to take you out of your flat, for just one occasion

Angie

It was awful

Jon

Right. And do you think the experience in Langley Green changed you?

Angie

Yeah, a bit tougher, actually not tougher, softer.

Jon

And did you feel the atmosphere was different, what was it, do you think that changed you?

Angie

Seeing the people suffer, you know I don't like seeing a mate suffer, friends, you know what I mean

Jon

Yes, yeah, and do you think that it gave you a chance to be comfortable and rest

Angie

Yeah, I was very lucky, I said to them I wouldn't go back there, ever again but I thanked them very much, you know. And the food was brilliant, the food was really nice. And I was always waiting for my aunty Kath to visit me, I used to go on and on about my aunty Kath because my cousin had a lesion and died when she was 16, so, I was coming to terms with that as well, loads of things kept popping up. Like a little box, things popping up, you know, oh God, ah, oh my God, innit.

Jon

And you were there for a year, which is quite a long time to be there

Angie

Yeah

Jon

Why did it take so long for you to get out to rehab?

Angie

Because I was a total mess, basically, yeah. I don't think I'd ever go back to it not even to look, it's just part of my life gone.

Jon

Was there any emotional or spiritual support when you were there?

Angie

There was a vicar who used to come in

Jon

Was that useful

Angie

Yeah, I used to get out with him, I used to go Oy Vic, Oy Vic

Jon

And was there any therapy?

Angie

Yeah, occasionally, we used to have groups and that most of the time there wasn't anything, we were all wandering around going mmm… When are we going out…

Jon

So can you tell me about a typical day

Angie

I'd get up about eight, I'd have a shower the night before so I was fine, I'd go down the shop, come back, and Sam would say to me if you don't come back on time you're not allowed out again and I would think oh my god if there's a queue in the shop or anything I'm not going to make it he's going to go mental, and then John said he would visit in the afternoons, so he used to pick me up in the afternoons around three, and we used to go out till about six or seven, used to go and get a Macdonald's. Used to have a chat and that. He was in a place in Worthing, in a different place. Anyway, and John had his bike accident so I was in the hospital when that happened so that was why it took me so long to get myself together. Do you know where I'm at now, yeah…

Jon

I do, yeah.

Angie

They were very supportive, very supportive

Jon

So that's one reason you stayed in there longer, as well

Angie

Yeah. I… A very tight bond with them, I found it quite hard not to go back I see Sam at church, Sam who works there, I see him at church on a Sunday.

Jon

What were the living quarters like

Angie

Nice, really smart, they had a shower, a shower room in your room, in your bed, chest of drawers, wardrobe, make it, when I was in Worthing I made the room so nice and stuff, I used to work in the charity shop, Stokes

Jon

But at Langley Green was it all individual rooms, did you all have your own rooms

Angie

Yeah. That was the nice thing about it, the men were in the men's and the ladies were in the ladies, yeah.

Jon

And do you remember any particular smells or sensations from that time?

Angie

Mint, I used to get mints

Jon

Did you? You used to go and buy those from the shop

Angie

In rehab yeah, to stop smoking

Jon

And did you succeed in stopping smoking?

Angie

Yeah, three years

Jon

Good, um, and do you remember any particular people from that time

Angie

John, really

Jon

So he would come and take you out in the afternoons, and then he had the accident. And what happened after that?

Angie

Well I blamed myself for ages, kept blaming myself, and blaming myself, until I thought I can't do this any more, I can't keep sitting around blaming myself for things, you know

Jon

And how could you have been to blame?

Angie

I could have been on his mind when he had the accident, you know what I mean, he could have been thinking about me. I'd forgotten about that.

Jon

But you are not to blame, it's just something you are thinking because you care a lot about him, but you are not to blame.

Angie

I hope not.

Jon

I know you're not. You can't be to blame, because his life, when he was riding his motorbike was completely separate from you.

Angie

Yeah. Right.

Jon

And accidents happen. At any time.

Angie

Thanks for that.

Jon

So how do you remember leaving?

Angie

With my mum.

Jon

And did you discuss it with the staff a lot, getting ready to leave

Angie

Yeah and they said to me if you stick it out Angie, you'll get a flat which I did, and I did.

Jon

Good. And is there anything else we haven't talked about that you would like to mention?

Angie

No that's it I think

Jon

Great. Many thanks for sharing your memories, that's really valuable, and wish you all the best

Angie

Shake hands.