Introduction Foreword Writing Together Coping Within The System Coping On My Own Coping With Teenagers Coping With Relationships Live Performance

Carole Taylor

State Of Mind

I’m in a better state of mind
yet I have all these feelings
realising memories of my childhood
closed off memories of my past
locking me out of what makes me, me
time has forwarded really fast
the voices have faded
to virtually non-existent
this has been really recent
what I have found is, I actually cry.

You wait I’ll conquer this mental state
I’ll get better, I’ll learn to elaborate
to express exactly how I feel
when I feel it I’ll learn to deal
with the auditory hallucinations
the childhood trauma
and all your attempted manipulations,
you failed me as a child and as a youth
you crushed me, belittled me and that is the truth
still now you taunt me
you’re not dead yet you manage to haunt me
a constant resounding within my mind
a druggie, a drunk, dead or I’ll end up inside

I’m a better person now
bet you’re wondering how
At least I’m happy and accepting my past
you’ll always be the same nothing will ever last
my brother will probably be next
you will have had enough you’ll be vexed
after all he is walking a thin line
I feel for the boy it’s just a matter of time
how do I feel about it all
slightly inadequate but I’m standing tall.


I live in Newhaven and I’m part of the Hearing Voices Network as I suffer with depression, stress and social phobia. I was in foster care for 17 years, my biological mother died when I was 12 of an overdose of methadone and pain killers, my dad is an alcoholic and suffers from convulsion fits.
I would really like to mention my godmother and my partner as they have been my inspiration, family, support and purpose to get up in the morning.

imageCarole Taylor