Danny Savage

Know ye now of times long past and shrouded in the mists of legendry... We had a user group called the Slough Mental Health User Group... SMHUG. We could have used other names... Mental User Group of Slough, MUGS... Group of Users of Mental in Slough, GUMS... Or we could have been SLUGS... But we've come up with something better... The Slough and Municipal Union for the Representation and Advancement of Interesting-thinkers, or SAMURAI for short. How much better for one's self-esteem to walk into a meeting and say 'Danny Savage, SAMURAI. For Truth, Justice and the Mentalist Way.


This poem is based on true events in the psychiatric canteen, Wexham Park Hospital, December 2007.

The Jolly Man

I once met a jolly man
Who once worked in a morgue
I met him in a hospital
The Psychiatric Ward

We were eating Irish stew
And it was full of gristle
It made you want to spit it out
Just like a freakin' miss'le

What animal was in this stew?
For eating it was hard
The jolly man just smiled and said...
"Granny a la carte."


This protest song was written against a "Christian" coffee shop who refused us entry and showed that "it takes two to be inclusive".

Antisocial Exclusion (Protest Song)

I've reached the conclusion
That social inclusion
Is just an illusion
From a world of confusion.
The Press call us psychos,
The public heart's hard.
They hope we don't mind
But they don't want our kind...
Not in their back yard.

One day we were banished
From God's coffee shop.
They said business was business
And it just had to stop.
Did they bar us for madness ?
Or the money they crave ?
I hope they can sleep,
I'm sure Jesus will weep...
As he spins round and round in his grave.

Un-Christian Christians
Yes I'm talking to you.
By your deeds shall we notice
That your words are untrue.
So you think that you're righteous ?
So you think you've done well ?
You may go to the church every Sunday
But one day
I'll see you serve coffee in Hell.

So answer our question
As you throw us out there.
Do you think for a moment
That communities care?
For some are indifferent
And some are just cruel.
So don't say
They all love us today...
We ain't nobody's fool.


'You've got to laugh, ain't you? Sometimes you've got to laugh at things that ain't funny. But you mustn't overdo it, or they put you in a funny jacket and take you away.

'I suggested the title for the project's comedy night at South Street Arts Centre in Reading, 'Warning: May Contain Nuts' though my friend Naveed and an unknown manufacturer of freezer food must take some credit. Here are some lines from the performance night.'